another road block

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Leo(T.C.K.)
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another road block

Post by Leo(T.C.K.) »

I've been "evicted" and now I am travelling on, hitting yet another road bloc after another. I had to stay a day extra somewhere due to cancelled boats
and buses due to bad weather conditions.

Now I am travelling to a city where I might perish as it doesn't appear to have WU or anything else I can receive money from.

This might be the end for me and I am really sorry....
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Dr.Flay
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Re: another road block

Post by Dr.Flay »

I know our situations are different, but I have been homeless twice, and the second time I was homeless for 6 years.
Food and shelter were easy to find because I had a desirable skill, fixing PCs.
I would get paid by having a meal and a sofa or floor to sleep on.

As long as you are useful and helpful wherever you are, you will find food and shelter.
Finding the first few jobs is tough, but once you can get recommended by someone it becomes easier.
The main thing is to stay or start from where you have connections because your problems will always follow you wherever you go.

I live near the southern most tip of the British Isles. The town Penzance is the end of the rail line.
People from all over the UK end up there as they try to get as far away from their problems as possible.
It does not work. It now a town full of misery and drugs worse than many of the places they came from.

I doubt you will find what you are looking for in this city or any other city, because you need to find it in yourself.
Yes a new start could be what you need, but only if you are the thing that changes. We have no power to change the world, we can only change ourselves, and by doing so then change the way the world works for us.

You keep reaching out to people online that cannot really help you, only offer advice or small comfort.
The only people you can get real help from are the people you meet, but you do not trust anyone and reject the help available from the institutions in your country.

You need to find yourself and what you are worth, and I have no idea what it may take for you.
For the last year of being homeless I joined a charity made up of homeless people that wanted to do something useful in exchange for food and a bed in an old caravan in a field.
People would donate furniture, bedding, kitchen equipment, TVs, and anything a home needs. We would distribute the stuff to people in need.
We were paid in optional donations, which after putting fuel in the trucks would feed us each week.
The old caravans were cold (I used to see frozen flies fall off the ceiling) and the wind and rain would get in, but it was shelter.
Each day I had something to do and somewhere to be, and every day I knew we helped someone was a good day.
I didn't like everyone in the group, and some of my things were stolen, but my time there was not wasted. I learned things about myself and how strong I was physically and mentally.

Living in a hippy commune isn't something I imagine is for you, but maybe you can find a motivated group or charity that needs people willing to commit them-self for a while.
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Leo(T.C.K.)
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Re: another road block

Post by Leo(T.C.K.) »

I was travelling for a week in total, ultimately settling down in a place and becoming happy, but it lasted only for a day. People started becoming suspicious of me and my bf. I had someone who would pay for the first rent and I still had some money I stored before on my grandmother's account that I had reserved for the rent payments before. My partner was gonna get a job on boats now and everything looked fine. Then...things got a bit stresful because I was arranging to pay for a deposit somehow and i went to a store, got back, then got called upstairs fell down the stairs, got hurtful and panicky, had a bit of a fight because people were stressing out waiting for me to respond and *****. And I dislocated my leg by putting too much weight on it, it was partially so already from the stairs. Well because of my discolation screms and shouts the neighbors living in the down part of the house heard it, called the owner and he goes like...i got this call from neighbors and I THINK IVE HAD ENOUGH, YOURE OUT OF THE HOUSE while 'm in the bed hurting like mad, just managed to put my leg back or almost...he starts messing with me real bad saying when I tell him i maybe broke my leg he says YOU BROKE MY LOCK??! and goes abusive and mocks me and doesn't believe me ***** and I strart yelling at him ARE YOU MESSING WITH ME!?

Few moments later angry neighbors bang on the door, owner threatens with violence, claims we should be happy because police isn't involved.

He is the fraudstar and i dont care what you think *** that guy, I got his threatening messages saved on the fone, now i trust NBODY and I NEED to live isolated, not in a HOUSE WITH MORE PEOPLE THAT I DONT TRUST NOT
NEVER AGAIN IM TAKING A BOAT TOMRROW AND MAYBE ILL SINK, BEEN STAYING IN HOTELS AGAIN NO COMPENSATION NOTHING I WILL RUN OUT OF ANY LAST BIT THAT I EITHER EANRNED OR GOT DNATED
AND I AM CHRONICALLY ILL AND PEOPLE ABUSE STUFG

please censor any words I you seee fit I have PTSD on top of it all and maybe a form of tourettes now too i dont care, ive also suffered for years from ME CFS and I'm put of money nobody donated to me yet sinc i postdd qabout this on ut99 I don't need talk, I need people to support me now or im dead

I will hnot recover easily from this last trauma and im out and dead nand
Last edited by Leo(T.C.K.) on Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Leo(T.C.K.)
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Re: another road block

Post by Leo(T.C.K.) »

Do I deserve all this for continuing to support this game for many years? How many people ever donated something to me all those years? I think two. One of them not even present on forums. Then I got promises of help from like 4 people that never did so? Because they cared about something else. I can't keep this up mate.

I don't have a site with a donation button and i dont really care about paypal. im getting a new bank account set up, has to be on my grandmothers name with my name on it, but meanwhile people ae abusing situation and being psychopaths, hoping this will kill me for good. my mom's being psychotic and abusive to people that tried to help me, claiming they might be murderers, she invents whole theories and is spiteful, while giving me zero money of her own for the last couple of weeks which were most stesful, not earning it even and each time throwing a drama git over the phone when i need something arranged through her, being asked each time by my partner "please tell her this" and each time I fear how much more abusive can she get more towards me each time i fear what she shouts back at me and stings me.
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Leo(T.C.K.)
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Re: another road block

Post by Leo(T.C.K.) »

And you know waht I don't need? Lecturing. Assuming. You have no clue that I wasn't aimlessly going for "some city" that it was just a major stop along the way. That I had several offers and showing for places that fell through. I waste time explaining all this while some people could help me and I have even less time trying to prove people like mmu wrong that tell people (now publically) that I am untrustworthy peerson.

Well, whoop tee doo. I'm not going to take that *****. And this is not directed at you specificaly. I know you can take it that way. I am actually a very empathic person. And aware of the psychology. Like someone else said to me IRL, I take time to actually listen to what people have to say and I don't make drama. That's kind of the opposite of some of my online reputation isn't it? And why do you think is that? Because they couldn't listen. Because they said nonsense or wound me up in the end.

I am affected by the stress and I can misjudge some people or be blinded by rage, but I am not a person that desn't listen to their stories, even if there is no comment from me I do take it in and I do read what you said, however the other side of it, the part that tries to lecture.

All that kind of talk is useless and it's not me being abusive. It just doesn't apply to me situation. I know you tried to help me talking to me, but that's not how it works.

It's not. You can't take a base of your own experience and fill in the gaps of someone else's life. I know that's the human way to do it, but it's wrong.
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Re: another road block

Post by Leo(T.C.K.) »

However I want anyone to knw that I am coming to a place that I could receive at least a WU transfer to keep me going before I figure out what to do next or my partner. Because the trip expenses bled my last resources dry almost. The hotel receptionist said it is enough to report the house/flat renters as fraudsters especially when I showed him some of the threatening messages. That a lot of people do that in these parts, also rent out for way too much
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Re: another road block

Post by Leo(T.C.K.) »

Due to the stress I don't have all that time to explain. I don't need to "find myself", that's not what this is all about. M first message was so sparse but there was a promise of a place and when I got to the island near the city things started going better and I would have withdrawn cash via another neighbor if things didn't happen they did over the last couple of days. It was total shellshock, setting me even further away from anything, NOW I will be aimlessly wandering afterwardws maybe
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